Bert — The Machine Character Profile

About Bert

A stand-up comedian and podcaster nicknamed The Machine after a wild 1999 Russia trip. Struggling with alcohol dependency and strained family relations, he is forced by a Russian mobster to travel to Moscow to retrieve a stolen antique pocket watch. Through retracing his past, he reconnects with old acquaintances, learns to balance his wild persona with personal responsibility, and ultimately reconciles with his family.

Bert — Character Profile

Character Facts

Played by

Bert Kreischer

Appears in

The Machine (2023)

Role

Protagonist

Relationships (9)

• Bert — Unknown Associate — Ashley (Rita Bernard-Shaw)

  Person connected to Bert's current life

• Bert — Unknown Associate — Sasha (Jess Gabor)

  Russian woman connected to Bert's past

• Bert — Unknown Associate — Idina (Iva Babić)

  Russian woman connected to Bert's past

• Bert — Romantic Partner — LeeAnn (Stephanie Kurtzuba)

  Bert's romantic partner

• Bert — Conflict Antagonist — Sponge (Martyn Ford)

  Enforcer working for Igor

• Bert — Unknown Associate — Alexei (Robert Maaser)

  Russian man connected to Bert's past

• Bert — Conflict Antagonist — Igor (Nikola Đuričko)

  Russian mobster who Bert wronged in college

• Bert — Temporal Younger Self — Young Bert (Jimmy Tatro)

  Bert at a younger age, portrayed by Jimmy Tatro

• Bert — Family Father — Albert (Mark Hamill)

  Bert's father who gets kidnapped with him

Explore the full interactive character relationship map of The Machine

More characters from The Machine

• Albert (Mark Hamill)
• Young Bert (Jimmy Tatro)
• LeeAnn (Stephanie Kurtzuba)
• Train Igor (Oleg Taktarov)
• Igor (Nikola Đuričko)
• Big John (Đorđe Simić)
• Therapist (Brian Caspe)
• Vanya (Set Sjöstrand)
• Teacher (Mercedes De La Cruz)
• Tatiana (Amelie Child-Villiers)
• Train Banditti (Aleksandar Dragutinovic)
• Irina's Father (Jovan Savić)